Maybe, you're outside of any enclosing, context-building structures like work and it makes your
planning much more prevalent and sensitive.

Things don't have as clear an ending or start.

You share all these details that are much more.. structural, philosophical or otherwise complex. And
this can help you sub in for that context, but it means your partner has to build up a guard and
basically take time out of their day separately to form views about you and what you're doing.

Imagine someone who doesn't tell you anything, or who you don't even know personally — just doing
things. You can perceive them very clearly and judge their methodology, actions or lack thereof.

Now imagine someone who tells you every prospect plan in their mind. The other extreme. Your
thinking can be really muddied because your brain now tries to guess what they "almost did", or
"might do"

So your focus is shifted towards whether they will do it instead of how they did it

To give an example from myself — I am telling you about how my courses are going, but not about the
hours of planning and research that went into determining that they must be done, or what I will do
besides or between that.

It's not because I'm some saint, trying to spare you gritty details. I just have a clearly
established plan and I'm following it, I'm more "zoomed in".  You can tell me if I fuck up, or miss
something, because you build your own (rough) version of my plan I wrote down in your head.

So someone can either be collaborator or reviewer in this way.

It's very kind to assume people want to review by default and let them collaborate only when you are
sure you can include them in a healthy, reasonable and useful manner

Collaborator XOR reviewer. That's about it :D


Speak in actions, concrete intents, and wishes. In that order of priority