my old gender is Woman. asserting myself over and over repeating my name in the corner hoping that
enough chants will save me from the Inevitable sword.

my TBD gender is like in Attack Helicopter[1]. i'm lean, fast. focused, precise. i have principles.
i follow them always; a principle you only follow when it's easy is a habit, not a
principle. i want to handle every emergency you could throw at me that i'd willingly get myself
into, which is to say– quite a lot of them. i want to feel free to plunge into the deepest shit
because i have my own back. because i know what happens when this water stops being something i can
swim in. i won't drown.

i want to convince you im right. i want to show you it, too. i want you to believe in me because i
am believable, not because i get things done. just let me show up for you, and with your faith we'll
make the world go round. not blind trust, just youthful optimism. just your gaze meeting honest eyes.


come along. the towel and bath bomb are by the door, the hair dryer is right next to the floor.
you may not be well today, but you got this and i'm not too worried about your day. here's a hug and
time for a few tears to be shed. now it's time for you to go to bed.

stand clear, he's not breathing well. let me cut his shirt off and stick the ekg leads, how is his
pulse nurse, i can't see well enough for that one yet.

before you're sure i'll find a new trailhead to explore
between doubts your almighty power i will consume
  a song and dance of Heat and Flame
 where we are wondering why you don't care
            alas we cannot seek to explore forever
come to us when you are tired
     let us show you the way
    when you have seen
    that right is wrong
    and truth can be found alone
-

gender is a coat i take off at winter, when i get home and there is no further conquest to explore.
i let it dry out and get all the smell off, when we are fast asleep i will  move forth

cute is my underwear and pijamas alike
when i am tired i am cute
when i am happy
                 i am cute
          docile

when i want no doubts to explore
when there is nothing more to do
the coat comes off
but it is always by the door :)

[1]: https://isabelfall.neocities.org/Isabel_Fall_-_I_Sexually_Identify_as_an_Attack_Helicopter.pdf